The Saga of a Modern Mid-Life Smoothie Monster: A little about my junk-eating Genesis

I'M STILL TRYING TO GET THIS RIGHT!

I am in the position of being able to tweak my blog and make it more usable for you all. I do, however have a small problem.

Having invested a fairly hefty block of time into getting this blog going, I have come across a fact that has started worrying me. I need to keep thinking of things to say to you so that you stay interested and keep coming back.

Let's face it, There are only so may things that you can learn about blending fruit and veg, and if I continue along those lines, I am in danger of getting boring I don't want that to happen, so I have decided that I should tell you a little more about my route towards this massive change in my life.

Before I do, I have a little housekeeping to take care of....

I need to start by telling you that

I AM NOT A COMPUTER GENIUS

With that being the case, I am happy to say that I have managed to open a Facebook page that will run in conjunction with this blog

www.facebook.com/smoothiemonsterblog

I will be looking to enhance your ability to find this page by adding a link button, but for the time being this is beyond my laughable and pathetic skill-set.

I have also added a Google Translate button on the right hand side of the page, just in case you wish to see what my words look like in Japanese or Hindi.

MY JOURNEY

I have never been a health nut.......Far from it.....

When I was a kid, my Mum always fed me great food which was always really tasty and full of goodness.

This gave me a taste for food which was probably not as good for me as it could have been.

I shunned salad and fruit as if it were the most poisonous substance known to Science.

Seriously, you may as well have told me it was made of The blood of Ripley's little friend in the alien films.

Every morning I had either a bowl of Shreddies or Three Weetabix with full fat milk and a MOUNTAIN of sugar.

You need to bear in mind that this was in the 70s and things were different back then. I was also getting a whole load of exercise. I was the youngest of 4 kids, so I spent the whole day running away from my older brothers who were constantly trying to hurt me in cruel and unusual ways.

You Know

The usual things

Like tying one end of a rope around my waist and the other end to their bike and pulling me down the road sitting on a skateboard or playing "garden fork" javelin with me as the distance Judge.

We also had a massive old English sheepdog like this one which also dragged me around the park

So what I'm saying is that I kept pretty active, so getting fat wasn't really an issue, even given the enormous drag factor of my innate laziness (which continues to this day).

My eating habits remained unchanged until I was in my 20s when they actually started getting worse after I discovered the joys of Beer and Balti (which is a type of Indian curry which my home town of Birmingham is famous for)with a massive Naan bread.

I wonder if this is part of the Atkins Diet?

With all the fats and sugars that my diet contained, it was always going to come to a head at some time in my life.

When you are young, you can eat or drink what you like, and still fit into your 30 inch jeans. Then you get to a certain point in your life......lets say 30-35 years, and your muscles wave a white flag, pack up their suitcase and bugger off on holiday. Suddenly you're a fat git who's metabolism has slowed down just enough to make it twice as hard to lose weight than it had been just ten years earlier, when, ironically, you didn't need to lose any weight.

I am still convinced that the process of ageing is a cruel practical joke that evolution has played on our species. The religious among you probably would say that It's God's way of telling us that we are mortal.

MMMMM........

I will stick to my personal theory of evolution as a cosmic joke.

In conclusion, I have now decided that it is time to eat as much natural food as possible as nature abhors a fatty.

Wild Animals don't get fat.

When did you last see a tubby kestrel?